Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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