Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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