last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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