I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
