So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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