There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize