I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize