i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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