So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize