Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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