week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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