508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
