rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
