so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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