he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
