ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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