Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
