The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
