I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize