There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
