I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
