u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
