I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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