I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
