Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
