You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
