The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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