Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
