her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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