He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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