He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
