Soap is not a condiment
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
