hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
