i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
