dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
