then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
