So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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