Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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