i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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