and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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