i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
