She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
