no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
