i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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