But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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