No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize