we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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