I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
