Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
