This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
