Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
