Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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