if only i could text you this smell
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
