Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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