Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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