Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
