Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize