The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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