thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
