things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
