Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
