dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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