I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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