She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
