sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize